Saturday, February 12, 2011

6 Laws of Persuasion (Part 4) - Liking



Why do companies hire sales people who are attractive, charismatic and courteous? Why are sales people always smiling, dressed well and complimenting you? 

It is because they all want to influence you and they want to do it using the social influence of Liking (Part 4 of this 6 part series on persuasion.) 

Let's examine how you can use this influence to your advantage and also how you can protect yourself.   


Basic Premise
  • People respond positively to people they know and like (think of your friends
  • As humans, we want people to like us so we are automatically inclined to like people who like us

How People Take Advantage of Liking
  • Good looking people are better liked and seen as possessing better personality traits and intellectual abilities. This is why companies hire attractive sales people and why good sales people always dress very nicely. 
    Even world leaders practice mirroring!
  • People like other people who are similar to themselves so one effective technique that many sales people or anyone building rapport uses is "mirroring", which means that they mimic the other person's gestures, body language, expressions, tones, etc. (You probably don't even realize this is happening
  • Since people like others who like them, compliments are used to get on the "good side" of a client although this may backfire if it doesn't seem sincere. 
  • Effective persuaders will build an "allies" approach because it creates more rapport. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend
  • The more familiar you are with something or someone, the more you like it. This is why visibility in a company is important. Basically, you want to be seen frequently but only in a positive light. This is how persistent guys get the girl but remember persistence is only one part of the equation, the other part is that the girl needs to see you in a positive light during each encounter. (Also see my post titled An Insight into Attraction)  
  • Humans usually associate the nature of news to the messenger (weatherman, "killing of the messenger") so good sales people associate themselves with positive things such as lunch and goodies (have you ever attended a pharmaceutical sales meeting?)

Best Defense
  • Be very sensitive to a quick or deep liking to a sales person (reflect on the sales person's behavior)
  • Separate the salesperson from the merits of what he is trying to sell

Seemingly Useless Commentary: As you are probably noticing, many of these influence principles are not difficult to use (and abuse). It is important to remember that these are tools and like a gun, they can be used for both good and evil (how cliché I know). It is up to you to decide how you want to use such information but one thing that can't be argued is that awareness already gives you a layer of defense against being influenced by these tactics.  


Next Principle of Influence: Authority