The Power of Choice - Liberating or Crippling Social Growth?

I recently stumbled upon this video by RSA: Ideas and Actions for the 21st Century Enlightenment which I thought was very interesting. In addition to the unique method of animation, the message was thought provoking. The basic premise is that having the ability to choose is actually very crippling. Since there is always a loss of other opportunities when you make a choice, the fear of losing actually paralyzes people from making the best choice for both themselves and society. Enjoy!

The Shocking Truth About Poor People - Something for Nothing Syndrome

There are many diseases out there in the world, but there none of them have affected as many people as negatively as the "Something for Nothing" syndrome.

Let's face it. No matter what some may say, almost all of us want to be rich and successful. 

Now for some good news and bad news:

Good news: Anyone can become rich and successful as long as they can offer more value than what they get paid for. (that's it)

Bad news: Many people end up doing the exact opposite (myself included)

And the result is that most people don't end up where they want to be. 

Before speculating why this happens, let's first look at some manifestations of the "Something for Nothing" syndrome:

1) The Lottery: We're all seduced by "a dollar and a dream" but every time I've bought a lottery ticket, I've been left with "an expired lottery ticket and disappointment". Trying to get $383 million with $10 is a bit far fetched but millions of people are still playing every day. The same goes for other forms of gambling such as blackjack, poker, roulette, stock market speculation, sports betting, etc.

2) Cheating: Top scores without studying; Ponzi Schemes (Madoff anyone?); Use of performance enhancing or weight loss drugs; The long term results are usually pretty poor.

3) Slacking off: People who try to do as little as possible in their jobs and find ways to get through the day doing nothing. (There are people who actually brag about their prowess in this)

The list can go on and on (even extreme bargaining is a form of this syndrome) but one thing all of these examples have in common is that most of the people engaging in such activities are NOT rich or successful. Go to any casino and look around you - what type of people do you see? Usually the low to lower middle class, trying to "make it". I would not be surprised if the same demographic made up the majority of lottery players. The same goes for the slackers and the cheaters, how many of them do you know have been able to sustainably become wealthy and successful. 

Yes, there are cheaters, slackers and gamblers that get rich but the key word is "sustainable". At the same time the percentage of people with the "Something for Nothing" syndrome that do get rich is extremely small if any. 

So why does this happen? 

People are motivated towards pleasure and away from pain and the "Something for Nothing" syndrome appeals to both of these motivational directions. When you can obtain something without doing anything, you have gained pleasure without incurring any pain. Secondly, anyone who enjoys taking the easy way out or wants to be rich immediately will be prone to activities such as gambling because there is no other place where you can get a 100% return on your investment (if you can call it that) in less than a minute. 

Unfortunately for those suffering from this syndrome, the natural law is that for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction so if you give nothing, naturally you will get nothing. On the other hand, if you give more value, you should receive more money in return. 

Despite learning that "There is no such thing as a free lunch" in my first economics class more than a decade ago, I've been afflicted with this syndrome myself and only recently realized the power of being "valuable". I use to brag about working only a few hours a day, winning at the casino or getting a crazy bargain but now I realize that all those things have worked against me in becoming truly successful. I now constantly look for ways I can add value for my employer, friends, clients and loved ones and I have found life much more enjoyable. 

Directions for being successful: Just add value.

6 Laws of Persuasion (Part 6) - Scarcity

Ever shop for flights online and see the tag "there are only 2 tickets left" or how about informercials that claim it is for a limited time only or that there are only X amount left. 

Wonder why antiques are so expensive? 

It all comes down to our last social influence in our 6 part series: Scarcity

Basic Premise

• Things seem more valuable when their availability is limited.

• Scarcity can turn garbage into prized possessions.
• When you ban something, there is a loss of freedom which makes the banned item more appealing (teenage rebellion, prohibition and drugs).
• Scarcity has a stronger effect when:
• the item was previously abundant rather than being constantly scarce (look at the salt rush due to the nuclear incident in Japan).
• people are in competition with other people for the item (auctions usually generate higher prices especially when there is more than one bidder).

How People Take Advantage of Scarcity

Long line for Chicken and Ginseng Soup

• As mentioned in the introduction, sellers usually use a deadline and/or limited number technique where you better act fast before the few items left are sold out or before time runs out and you lose out on the special offer.

• If you have ever bought real estate, you've probably experienced the sudden "unknown buyer" who has come in to bid for the same place you're bidding for. This is a perfect example of trying to create competition for the item.
• Long lines at a restaurant or club also gives a sense of scarcity because it shows that there is only so much space and "everyone" wants to get in.

Best Defense

• Realize that the joy is not in experiencing the scarce commodity but possessing it so you need to ask yourself why you want to own this item: Ownership or Utility? If for usefulness, remember that scarce things are no more useful than things in abundance.

• Objectively evaluate the item for its real value and don't overvalue it simply because it is scarce. 

Seemingly Useless Closing Remarks: 

With this article we have concluded this 6 part series on Persuasion: 

Reciprocity, Commitment/Consistency, Social Proof, Liking, Authority and Scarcity. 

Writing these articles have furthered my awareness in the social influences that surround me everyday. I hope it will make you a better consumer just being aware of the various tactics your are bombarded with on a daily basis and on the flip side, provided you with a arsenal of effective tools you can use next time you need to persuade someone. 

Feel free to leave comments on your thoughts about the article.

6 Laws of Persuasion (Part 5) - Authority

Me: My lower back hurts.

Doctor: You need a MRI for that lower back pain.

Me: OK

How often do I just blindly obey doctors, policemen and other authority figures? Pretty much all the time (except when I was a teenager but I grew out of it). It is so natural for most people to willingly go along with an authority figure (See Milgrim's famous experiment) that it is the Part 5 in this 6 part series on persuasion.

Basic Premise

• Adults are extremely willing to to follow the commands of an authority figure.  This is so for a couple of reasons:
• We are taught from when we are young that obedience = good behavior.
• Mindless obedience is a decision making shortcut

• Appearance of authority is usually enough: Titles, Clothing, Belongings, etc.

• Compliance with small favors usually increases susceptibility to incrementally bigger favors.

How People Take Advantage of Authority

• Ever watch commercials where an "expert" comes on to discuss the benefits of the product and to lend "false" credibility.  Usually this expert is in a scientist's/doctor's coat. 

• Use of authoritative appearance to gain compliance: Uniforms, expensive suits, medals and other status symbol items (expensive cars, watches, jewelry, etc). I guess it really pays to look like a million bucks.

Best Defense

• Ask yourself: Is this person really an expert? Are they honest?

• Ask yourself: How truthful do we expect the expert to be here?

• Separate the symbols of authority and status with the actual evidence of credible authority

Next Principle of Influence: Scarcity

6 Laws of Persuasion (Part 4) - Liking

Why do companies hire sales people who are attractive, charismatic and courteous? Why are sales people always smiling, dressed well and complimenting you? 

It is because they all want to influence you and they want to do it using the social influence of Liking (Part 4 of this 6 part series on persuasion.) 

Let's examine how you can use this influence to your advantage and also how you can protect yourself.   

Basic Premise

• People respond positively to people they know and like (think of your friends) 

• As humans, we want people to like us so we are automatically inclined to like people who like us

How People Take Advantage of Liking

• Good looking people are better liked and seen as possessing better personality traits and intellectual abilities. This is why companies hire attractive sales people and why good sales people always dress very nicely. 

Even world leaders practice mirroring!

• People like other people who are similar to themselves so one effective technique that many sales people or anyone building rapport uses is "mirroring", which means that they mimic the other person's gestures, body language, expressions, tones, etc. (You probably don't even realize this is happening) 

• Since people like others who like them, compliments are used to get on the "good side" of a client although this may backfire if it doesn't seem sincere. 

• Effective persuaders will build an "allies" approach because it creates more rapport. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" 

• The more familiar you are with something or someone, the more you like it. This is why visibility in a company is important. Basically, you want to be seen frequently but only in a positive light. This is how persistent guys get the girl but remember persistence is only one part of the equation, the other part is that the girl needs to see you in a positive light during each encounter. (Also see my post titled An Insight into Attraction)  

• Humans usually associate the nature of news to the messenger (weatherman, "killing of the messenger") so good sales people associate themselves with positive things such as lunch and goodies (have you ever attended a pharmaceutical sales meeting?)

Best Defense

• Be very sensitive to a quick or deep liking to a sales person (reflect on the sales person's behavior)

• Separate the salesperson from the merits of what he is trying to sell

Seemingly Useless Commentary: As you are probably noticing, many of these influence principles are not difficult to use (and abuse). It is important to remember that these are tools and like a gun, they can be used for both good and evil (how cliché I know). It is up to you to decide how you want to use such information but one thing that can't be argued is that awareness already gives you a layer of defense against being influenced by these tactics.  

Next Principle of Influence: Authority

6 Laws of Persuasion (Part 3) - Social Proof

You've been there before. A crowd gathers and you can't help but walk over and before you know it the crowd is growing exponentially. In part 3 of this 6 part series on persuasion, we're going to look at one of the most powerful influences: Social Proof.

This is slightly related to "unconscious imitation" which I discuss in one of my earlier posts (Monkey See Monkey Do). Anyways, "no man is an island" and our need for social acceptance and belonging has been used against us probably too many time and in too many ways. 

But like most of these influences, awareness is the first step to take back control:

Basic Premise

• People determine what is correct by finding out and observing what OTHER PEOPLE think is correct (that's why laugh tracks were invented)
• Looking to others provides us with a shortcut for determining how to act ESPECIALLY when the "others" are viewed as being similar (Showing shy kids films of other shy kids actively interacting with other children can have a powerful effect; On a more morbid note, the fact that suicide rates go up on highly publicized suicides)
• This influence is also very powerful in unfamiliar or ambiguous situations (just think back to the last time you were in a foreign country or restaurant - this is why Yelp is so popular as well)

How People Take Advantage of Social Proof

• "Everyone is doing it...Everyone owns one..." - It was known as peer pressure in my adolescent days but whatever it is called the good ol' Bandwagon effect exists because everyone wants to belong
• Want to golf like Tiger Woods, Want to look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, Want to join our club? then (fill in the blank)- Who doesn't want to be cool or do what the "smart money is doing"?
• As you can see, anyone that recognizes the power of this influence can take advantage of it by providing an environment where people act a certain way or needs to act a certain way in order to be accepted

Best Defense

• Be firm in your own beliefs and instincts and be aware that others may be misinformed or may have a hidden reason for the action they are advocating
• Try to think back to when "similar" people were doing the opposite and recognize that you are free to make your own choices  
• When joining any group (club, company, culture), remember that they may be susceptible to group think
• Now that you are aware of this influence, recognize when social proof is being deliberately faked to achieve a certain purpose

Some Seemingly Useless Advice: For anyone in an emergency situation where a crowd is present, dispel the uncertainty of the crowd by pinpointing an individual and directly asking for help (i.e.  "Call an ambulance", "dial 911", etc) . If you leave it up to the crowd, then if most people are not doing anything (bystander effect), most likely others will follow suit and if you have ever heard of Kitty Genovese, Hugo Alredo Tale-Yax or Simone Back, you know the results can be very tragic.

Next Principle of Influence: Liking

6 Laws of Persuasion (Part 2) - Commitment and Consistency

In the last post, we saw how someone can completely influence another by giving a small gift and requesting a disproportionate favor in return. In part 2 of a 6 part series on Robert B. Cialdini's six principles influence ("You've Been Had - the Power of Persuasion" article), we'll see how something as innocent as trying to be consistent can make you susceptible to influence.  


Basic Premise

• People fool themselves in order to keep thoughts, attitudes and beliefs consistent with their words, decisions and actions.

• Hypocrisy is shunned by society - (e.g. Eliot Spitzer)

• Consistency provides a heuristic short cut for complex decision-making - (e.g. Judicial Precedents - what did we do before)

How People Take Advantage of Commitment and Consistency

• Toy stores "sell out" of the hottest toys but then overstock after the holiday season to trap parents who promise to buy their kids the "hot" toy while also buying them a "substitute" toy during the holidays

• Expert salesmen start by obtaining small commitments and then building on these commitments: change a person's self image and his actions will follow

• Those who go through a great deal of pain to obtain something tend to value it more than those who attained the same thing without effort (e.g. military/fraternity hazings) thus

• Commitments are most effective when they are ACTIVE, PUBLIC, EFFORTFUL and MADE FREELY -> Personal responsibility makes it difficult to refuse a request consistent with your commitment (e.g. Person committed to fight AIDS will donate time and money to AIDS charities in order to remain consistent with his commitments)

• People may become stuck to their initial commitment despite changing conditions and act contrary to their own best interest

Best Defense

• Trust your gut instinct: Don't be pressured to accepting requests for something that you don't want to do, no matter how small or inconsequential the commitment may seem (e.g. signing a petition or putting a politician's sign on your lawn)

• Ask yourself this one question: "If I could go back in time, would I make the same decision again?" - Use this when you feel that you may be acting "foolishly" consistent.

Next Principle of Influence: Social Proof

6 Laws of Persuasion (Part 1) - Reciprocity

Ever wonder why anyone that is ever selling anything is always giving something small away for free or how a "random" gift is usually followed by a request?  Well look no further, in the first of Robert B. Cialdini's six principles influence ("You've Been Had - the Power of Persuasion" article), we'll see exactly why this happens.

Basic Premise

• People feel indebted to others when they receive something from another person - "I scratch your back, you scratch mines"

• Those who do not reciprocate are seen as "takers" and suffer social disapproval as being greedy or selfish

How People Take Advantage of Reciprocity

• Unequal exchanges where someone gives a small gift but asking for a substantially larger favor in return - Ever get a free T-shirt but had to sign up for a credit card with an annual fee

• Most people take advantage by choosing both the indebting first favor AND the nature of the debt canceling favor

• Compromise => Concession Process where you make an extreme request first (one that is likely to be rejected) and then after the refusal, "conceding" to the smaller but actual intended request. "Heads I win, Tails you lose"

Best Defense

• Realize that there is no need to repay tricks/sales schemes with favors

• Be prepared to reject favors, concessions and offers no matter how small
  

Next Principle of Influence: Commitment and Consistency

6 Laws of Persuasion Series (Part 0)

One thing that most people strive ardently to avoid is being "taken in". No one wants to be manipulated but yet so many people (myself included) are secretly influenced all the time.

Whether it is shopping at the supermarket, negotiating a contract or deciding where to go on vacation, we are bombarded by persuasion techniques that we are not aware of.

So how can we protect ourselves? Well, learning and recognizing the principles of influence may provide a good starting point.

Robert B. Cialdini is a world famous psychologist who has extensively studied influence. He categorizes influence into six principles (click on the links for each principle):

1) Reciprocity

2) Commitment and Consistency

3) Social Proof

4) Liking

5) Authority

6) Scarcity

When I first read this book, it really opened my eyes to how often I am hit with influence tactics. Some of this stuff is intuitive but it helped to know what each tactic is and what I could do to protect myself. Over the next 6 posts, each of these principles will be defined and put into a context that you can recognize along with ways to defend yourself against such tactics.

As we go through these principles, remember that there is a fine balance between cynicism and gullibility. I personally believe it is no fun going through life distrusting others but it is up to you to decide what is best for you. 

Recommended Reading: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini

Can We Really Trust Ourselves? Monkey See Monkey Do

I'm not a proponent of evolution but maybe we have more in common with monkeys than we would care to admit. When imitation occurs as a result of conscious thought it can represent the sincerest form of flattery but more often than not people are actually "victims" of unconscious imitation.

Innately, humans have a strong tendency towards imitation. Just look at children - they were never told to imitate but they just do - it is the way they learn and it's natural. As we progress in brain development and age, we have had enough experiences to generate "unique" behaviors and outwardly cast off "child-like" imitation behaviors (this is especially prevalent in the Western hemisphere where individuality reigns supreme).

Like all natural urges, what may be suppressed in the conscious mind (ego) may not necessarily be restrained in the unconscious mind (id). This is the reason why we have so many fads, fashion and partners that are beyond the comprehension of reasonable thinking. One example of imitation gone wild is the popularity of faded designer jeans. These days, jeans that look like they would have normally been thrown out due to extensive wear (stained and faded with holes) are being sold as new and bought at ridiculous prices. Despite our common sense (jeans do not cost over $100 to make), we can not help but to imitate everyone else and buy these jeans or at least have the desire to buy them.

Another interesting example of unconscious imitation is the "groupie effect" (For more on human attraction, check out Like Dissolves Like). The basic premise for this effect is that men/women are attracted to women/men that other men/women find attractive. This is why musicians and celebrities "seem" attractive and have groupies despite their actual physical appearance. So for anyone that is single, a good way to increase your chances of success in meeting someone is to have an "opposite-sex" wing person. This effect can be explained by what scientists call "mate choice copying". Finding a suitable partner is time consuming so taking cues from other is an effective mating shortcut. This also explains why women view men who are married or have a girlfriend more attractive than men who are single.

The last example that exemplifies unconscious imitation, desiring what others consider desirable, can be found in free capital markets. In the year 1634 in Holland, the price of tulips (yes, the flower) traded higher than the price of gold. This occurred because people wanted tulips for the sole reason that everyone else wanted tulips. They disregarded their common sense, much like we do with "holey" jeans, and prices for tulips sky rocketed. As with all fads, the demand for tulips faded and a panic ensued causing the price to plummet and financial ruin for many. Now tulip mania or tulipomania is used to refer to any large economic bubble. In hindsight, one can almost laugh at the absurdness of the Dutch, but with many brought to financial ruin when the tech bubble burst and many suffering through the bursting of the current housing bubble, are we that much different?

Unconscious imitation can certainly be dangerous but it can also be helpful. One way to take advantage of your natural desire to imitate is to surround yourself with people you want to be like. If you want be a better basketball player, play with people better than you. If you want be more religious, surround yourself with religious people by consistently attending religious services and events. Unconscious imitation requires no "work" on your part but this can be a double edged sword. Since you can't help but be affected by those around you, it is important to evaluate the people and media (visual- television, audio- radio/mp3 and print- books) that you surround yourself with.

"When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends." - Japanese Proverb

Recommended Readings: Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds by Charles Mackay

"Like Dissolves Like" - An Insight into Attraction

The golden rule of solutions chemistry is "like dissolves like". These three words provide the guide for predicting solubility when dealing with "polar" and "non-polar" solvents (substances capable of dissolving other substances) and solutes (substances that are dissolved by solvents). One common example of this rule can be seen when trying to mix oil (non-polar) and water (polar). No matter how hard you try, water simply will not dissolve oil but if you put table salt (polar) in water, it dissolves very easily. This phenomenon is not only useful in predicting the solubility of solvents and solutes but also provide insight into human attraction.

Attraction, many may argue, is a function of our experiences and social definitions but Dion (1973) found that children as young as three years old exhibit the ability to perceive attractiveness. Across cultures, there are strong "universal correlates of beauty" (Wikipedia - physical attractiveness):

• Physically Attractive Males have:
  
• Slim waists and broad shoulders (V shaped torso)
• Strong brow, high forehead and broad jaw (masculine features)
• Heights taller than their mates (1.1 times their height is preferred) and erect posture
  

• Physically Attractive Females have:
• Youthful appearances - full lips, clear, smooth skin, clear eyes, lustrous hair and good muscle tone
• Hour-glass figure - a waist circumference 70% of the hip circumference
• Heights shorter than their mates
• Symmetrical faces and high cheek bones, big eyes and a thin jaw
  

Most of these universal traits of attraction have underlying procreational explanations. The hour-glass figure symbolizes female fertility and a symmetrical face is a sign of good genes that are free from disease. Taller heights and masculine features in men are a symbol of strength and protection for the family.

In psychology, there have been many experiments dealing with human attraction. One prevailing conclusion that resonates with the "like dissolves like" theme is that individuals find those who are genetically unrelated but have similar facial features more attractive than those with dissimilar facial features. According to Sappenfield and Balogh (1970), perceived attractiveness towards another person was highly correlated to the perceived similarity to oneself. Murstein (1972) conducted several studies showing that people find others in their same "level" of attractiveness attractive. These conclusions were supported by other studies conducted by Cavior and Boblett (1972), Curran and Lippold (1975) and Chambers et al. (1983). Hinsz (1989) found that people tend to marry people who look like themselves.

These findings should not come as a surprise since it is very reasonable that people are attracted to those who are similar to them. Aside from physical appearances, Byrne et al (1986) suggests that people are attracted to homogamous characteristics such as age, race, education, beliefs and values and this in turn will enhance attraction. Knox (1997) came to a similar conclusion that people prefer homogamous traits when dating and considering a spouse. Parents want their children to reflect their values and religious beliefs but if the parents have different value systems, it can become very confusing for children who usually emulate their parents' beliefs.

Many people including Paula Abdul believe that "opposites attract". Experimental research (check bibliography below) has shown that this catch phrase is best saved to describe magnets. Most people who use the phrase "opposites attract" to describe their relationship, don't realize that they probably have more things in common than they thought. Most of the time, couples may be superficially opposites (different hobbies and interests) but have very similar personalities and values. "Opposites attract" may apply to infatuations and relationships spawned from rebellion but as one matures and seek meaningful relationships, similarities dominate as "like dissolves like". As with all situations, it is possible to have a long term relationship with someone who is truly your opposite but it is probably ill-advised since it's almost always an invitation for trouble. Long term relationships are hard as it is, why make it even more difficult.

Another reason why "likes" attract is that they are familiar and thus more memorable. Psychologist David Perrett (2002) found that young men and women were attracted to faces of those most resembling their mothers and fathers, respectively. This basically means that a sense of familiarity is enough to cause attraction. This is further supported by anatomical research on the fusiform, special part of the human brain needed to recognize faces of family, friends and people we are familiar with. Those with a damaged fusiform cannot recognize anyone and in experiments, they are unable to discriminate between photographs of plain and beautiful faces! This attraction for the familiar goes to explain why most couples tend to favor their own ethnicities.

Just like non-polar solvents can undergo chemical substitutions/transformations to become miscible with polar solvents. People can and normally do change (article on Change) to become more similar to their significant others. Couples that have been together for a good amount of time will usually begin to adopt each other's mannerisms and demeanor causing them both to become more akin. It is almost as if they "dissolve" into each other with both having properties of the other person.

This "like dissolves like" attraction phenomenon is a good reason for the success of online dating websites who require its members to complete detailed personality profiles that is used for finding a "suitable" match. There are still many other layers, such as the "groupie effect" and the "sexy son hypothesis", to human bonding and attraction. Look forward to future articles dealing with these topics. In the interim, feel free to give your own insights into attraction and whether you think "opposites attract" or "birds of a feather flock together" in the comments section.

Recommended Readings: Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined by Gordon Patzer and Survival of the Prettiest by Nancy Etcoff

Bibliography

1. Dion, K.K., (1973). Young children's stereotyping of facial attractiveness. Developmental Psychology, 9, 183-188.
2. Knox, D., M. E. Zusman, and W. Nieves. (1997) College students' homogamous preferences for a date and a mate. College Student Journal, 31, 445-448
3. Sappenfield, B. R. & Balogh B. (1970). Perceived attractiveness of social stimuli as related to their perceived similarity to self. The Journal of Psychology, 74, 105-111.
4. Byrne, D., Clore, G., & Smeaton, G. (1986). The Attraction Hypothesis: Do Similar Attitudes Affect Anything? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 51, 1167-1170.
5. Cavior, N. & Boblett, P. J. (1972). Physical attractiveness of dating versus married couples. Proceedings of the Annual Convention of American Psychological Association, 7, 201-202.
6. Chambers, V. J., Christiansen, J. R., & Kunz, P. R. (1983). Physiognomic homogamy: a test of physical similarity as a factor in mate selection process. Social Biology, 30, 151-157.
7. Curran, J. P., & Lippold, S. (1975). The effects of physical attraction and attitude similarity on attraction in dating dyads. Journal of Personality, 43, 528-539.
8. Hinsz, V. B. (1989). Facial resemblance in engaged and married couples. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 6, 223-229.
9. Murstein, B. I. (1972). Physical attractiveness and marital choice. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 22, 8-12.
10. Perrett, D. I., Penton-Voak, I. S., Little, A. C., Tiddeman, B. P, Burt, D. M., Schmidt N., Oxley, R., & Barrett, L. (2002). Facial attractiveness judgments reflect learning of parental age characteristics. Proceedings of the Royal Society of London B, 269, 873-880.