Warning: Get Some Sleep!

For the past few months, I've been logging my hours of sleep per night and also my general mood for the day and I've begun to see a correlation. Although this is no mystery that people that lack sleep are generally more irritable and stressed, I believe these are merely the symptoms of the bigger problem: weakening of our self control.

When I lack sleep, I find that I become undisciplined and give into my impulses and whims. I am unable to resist foods that I shouldn't eat, I cut my exercise routines short and I can't reign in my negative emotions (fear, anger, frustration, etc). I also can't control what I want to say despite knowing the consequences. Being in this state is a vicious cycle that leads to bad decisions and actions which leads to even more frustration not only because of the situation itself but my apparent in ability to stop the downward spiral.

The oft quoted line of the Greek Stoic, Epictetus, "It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.", truly holds the secret to happiness. Unfortunately when I lack sleep, I no longer have control of my reactions. Now this doesn't mean that I should not be held responsible for my actions because I definitely am accountable. I lack sleep due to the choices I make (working late, hanging out with friends, waking up early, etc). The good thing is that now that I have made this connection between sleep and self control, it impresses upon me the importance of a good night's rest and on the occasions that I don't get enough sleep, I need to be extra cautious of the things I do and say and be more vigilant with myself. 

Now for all of you statisticians that argue correlation is not causation, you are correct. At the same time, my belief is no "cum hoc ergo propter hoc" (latin for correlation proves causation) but rather a function of my experience and intuition. Not very scientific but you always have the choice to agree or disagree with my views.

For those who has experienced the connection between sleep and self control and want to improve their sleeping habits, here is a link on How to Sleep Better.

Ok, time for me to get ready for bed.

Be Individual! Be on the edge...always

In this society, most people blend in because that is what is easy and comfortable. Everyone wants to belong to a group (even those who claim they don't want to conform to a group belong to a group that "doesn't like conforming to groups"). But what is valuable (something/someone that creates real value) is not conformity and people who always stay within their comfort zone but rather those who push to their outer limits and test themselves by being always on the edge of failing. The ones who truly succeed are the one that actually push so far that they fall off the edge and fail but know that it is a necessary step if they always want to expand their potentials.

In light of the 10th anniversary of 9/11, where many people lost their lives due to no fault of their own, it serves as a painful reminder to not waste the time we have because we really do not know how much we have. I encourage everyone to

Live, Work, Eat, Sleep, Play, Read, Pray, Love on the edge.

Enough of the somber. Here is a video by an artist working on the edge (Perfect for fans of creativity, breakdancing and cinematography). Enjoy!

How to Think Outside of the Box - Blending In

Here is some creative art that was sent to me recently that I thought was worth posting. It is really inspiring to see the out of the box ideas that people come up with and a good reminder that it hasn't all been thought of yet.

Artist Liu Bolin at the Supermarket 

It took me a while to realize that these were all real people.

The Power of Choice - Liberating or Crippling Social Growth?

I recently stumbled upon this video by RSA: Ideas and Actions for the 21st Century Enlightenment which I thought was very interesting. In addition to the unique method of animation, the message was thought provoking. The basic premise is that having the ability to choose is actually very crippling. Since there is always a loss of other opportunities when you make a choice, the fear of losing actually paralyzes people from making the best choice for both themselves and society. Enjoy!

The Shocking Truth About Poor People - Something for Nothing Syndrome

There are many diseases out there in the world, but there none of them have affected as many people as negatively as the "Something for Nothing" syndrome.

Let's face it. No matter what some may say, almost all of us want to be rich and successful. 

Now for some good news and bad news:

Good news: Anyone can become rich and successful as long as they can offer more value than what they get paid for. (that's it)

Bad news: Many people end up doing the exact opposite (myself included)

And the result is that most people don't end up where they want to be. 

Before speculating why this happens, let's first look at some manifestations of the "Something for Nothing" syndrome:

1) The Lottery: We're all seduced by "a dollar and a dream" but every time I've bought a lottery ticket, I've been left with "an expired lottery ticket and disappointment". Trying to get $383 million with $10 is a bit far fetched but millions of people are still playing every day. The same goes for other forms of gambling such as blackjack, poker, roulette, stock market speculation, sports betting, etc.

2) Cheating: Top scores without studying; Ponzi Schemes (Madoff anyone?); Use of performance enhancing or weight loss drugs; The long term results are usually pretty poor.

3) Slacking off: People who try to do as little as possible in their jobs and find ways to get through the day doing nothing. (There are people who actually brag about their prowess in this)

The list can go on and on (even extreme bargaining is a form of this syndrome) but one thing all of these examples have in common is that most of the people engaging in such activities are NOT rich or successful. Go to any casino and look around you - what type of people do you see? Usually the low to lower middle class, trying to "make it". I would not be surprised if the same demographic made up the majority of lottery players. The same goes for the slackers and the cheaters, how many of them do you know have been able to sustainably become wealthy and successful. 

Yes, there are cheaters, slackers and gamblers that get rich but the key word is "sustainable". At the same time the percentage of people with the "Something for Nothing" syndrome that do get rich is extremely small if any. 

So why does this happen? 

People are motivated towards pleasure and away from pain and the "Something for Nothing" syndrome appeals to both of these motivational directions. When you can obtain something without doing anything, you have gained pleasure without incurring any pain. Secondly, anyone who enjoys taking the easy way out or wants to be rich immediately will be prone to activities such as gambling because there is no other place where you can get a 100% return on your investment (if you can call it that) in less than a minute. 

Unfortunately for those suffering from this syndrome, the natural law is that for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction so if you give nothing, naturally you will get nothing. On the other hand, if you give more value, you should receive more money in return. 

Despite learning that "There is no such thing as a free lunch" in my first economics class more than a decade ago, I've been afflicted with this syndrome myself and only recently realized the power of being "valuable". I use to brag about working only a few hours a day, winning at the casino or getting a crazy bargain but now I realize that all those things have worked against me in becoming truly successful. I now constantly look for ways I can add value for my employer, friends, clients and loved ones and I have found life much more enjoyable. 

Directions for being successful: Just add value.

Thomas Jefferson's Guide on How to Behave!

Much like Poor Richard's Thirteen Virtues, our third president and author of the Declaration of Independence also had his own rules of conduct. Despite it being over 200 years old, many if not all of these ideas are still relevant today. I believe that taking advice from one of the founding fathers of this nation is never a bad thing.

Here are Thomas Jefferson's Rules of Conduct:

1. Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can do today (Very useful if you really want to get things done)
2. Never trouble another for what you can do for yourself (Self-help is the common denominator of all successful people)
3. Never spend money before you have it (We've all learned the value of this rule ... or have we?)
4. Never buy anything you do not want because it is cheap (Good response to Groupon, Living Social and any other deal sites that tempt you to buy things you don't really want)
5. Take care of your change; dollars will take care of themselves ("Sweat the small stuff") 
6. Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst and cold (I think it is safe to assume we all know how expensive and costly pride can be)
7. We never repent for having eaten too little (I've never had a good feeling walking out of a buffet - also I hear those who eat less calories/day live longer)
8. Nothing is troublesome that one does of his own volition (Have a passion and you'll never be unfulfilled - what's mundane to one person may not be so to another)
9. How much pain has cost us the evils which have never happened (Stop worrying - you're just wasting energy that can be better used)
10. Take things always by their smooth handle (Always use tact and go for win-win outcomes)
11. Think as you please, and so let others, and you will have no disputes (Don't judge, everyone has their own truth and perceptions so respect that)
12. When annoyed, count 10 before you speak. If very annoyed, count 100 (Works every time, just try it)

The actual document from www.monticello.org

6 Laws of Persuasion (Part 6) - Scarcity

Ever shop for flights online and see the tag "there are only 2 tickets left" or how about informercials that claim it is for a limited time only or that there are only X amount left. 

Wonder why antiques are so expensive? 

It all comes down to our last social influence in our 6 part series: Scarcity

Basic Premise

• Things seem more valuable when their availability is limited.

• Scarcity can turn garbage into prized possessions.
• When you ban something, there is a loss of freedom which makes the banned item more appealing (teenage rebellion, prohibition and drugs).
• Scarcity has a stronger effect when:
• the item was previously abundant rather than being constantly scarce (look at the salt rush due to the nuclear incident in Japan).
• people are in competition with other people for the item (auctions usually generate higher prices especially when there is more than one bidder).

How People Take Advantage of Scarcity

Long line for Chicken and Ginseng Soup

• As mentioned in the introduction, sellers usually use a deadline and/or limited number technique where you better act fast before the few items left are sold out or before time runs out and you lose out on the special offer.

• If you have ever bought real estate, you've probably experienced the sudden "unknown buyer" who has come in to bid for the same place you're bidding for. This is a perfect example of trying to create competition for the item.
• Long lines at a restaurant or club also gives a sense of scarcity because it shows that there is only so much space and "everyone" wants to get in.

Best Defense

• Realize that the joy is not in experiencing the scarce commodity but possessing it so you need to ask yourself why you want to own this item: Ownership or Utility? If for usefulness, remember that scarce things are no more useful than things in abundance.

• Objectively evaluate the item for its real value and don't overvalue it simply because it is scarce. 

Seemingly Useless Closing Remarks: 

With this article we have concluded this 6 part series on Persuasion: 

Reciprocity, Commitment/Consistency, Social Proof, Liking, Authority and Scarcity. 

Writing these articles have furthered my awareness in the social influences that surround me everyday. I hope it will make you a better consumer just being aware of the various tactics your are bombarded with on a daily basis and on the flip side, provided you with a arsenal of effective tools you can use next time you need to persuade someone. 

Feel free to leave comments on your thoughts about the article.

6 Laws of Persuasion (Part 5) - Authority

Me: My lower back hurts.

Doctor: You need a MRI for that lower back pain.

Me: OK

How often do I just blindly obey doctors, policemen and other authority figures? Pretty much all the time (except when I was a teenager but I grew out of it). It is so natural for most people to willingly go along with an authority figure (See Milgrim's famous experiment) that it is the Part 5 in this 6 part series on persuasion.

Basic Premise

• Adults are extremely willing to to follow the commands of an authority figure.  This is so for a couple of reasons:
• We are taught from when we are young that obedience = good behavior.
• Mindless obedience is a decision making shortcut

• Appearance of authority is usually enough: Titles, Clothing, Belongings, etc.

• Compliance with small favors usually increases susceptibility to incrementally bigger favors.

How People Take Advantage of Authority

• Ever watch commercials where an "expert" comes on to discuss the benefits of the product and to lend "false" credibility.  Usually this expert is in a scientist's/doctor's coat. 

• Use of authoritative appearance to gain compliance: Uniforms, expensive suits, medals and other status symbol items (expensive cars, watches, jewelry, etc). I guess it really pays to look like a million bucks.

Best Defense

• Ask yourself: Is this person really an expert? Are they honest?

• Ask yourself: How truthful do we expect the expert to be here?

• Separate the symbols of authority and status with the actual evidence of credible authority

Next Principle of Influence: Scarcity

6 Laws of Persuasion (Part 4) - Liking

Why do companies hire sales people who are attractive, charismatic and courteous? Why are sales people always smiling, dressed well and complimenting you? 

It is because they all want to influence you and they want to do it using the social influence of Liking (Part 4 of this 6 part series on persuasion.) 

Let's examine how you can use this influence to your advantage and also how you can protect yourself.   

Basic Premise

• People respond positively to people they know and like (think of your friends) 

• As humans, we want people to like us so we are automatically inclined to like people who like us

How People Take Advantage of Liking

• Good looking people are better liked and seen as possessing better personality traits and intellectual abilities. This is why companies hire attractive sales people and why good sales people always dress very nicely. 

Even world leaders practice mirroring!

• People like other people who are similar to themselves so one effective technique that many sales people or anyone building rapport uses is "mirroring", which means that they mimic the other person's gestures, body language, expressions, tones, etc. (You probably don't even realize this is happening) 

• Since people like others who like them, compliments are used to get on the "good side" of a client although this may backfire if it doesn't seem sincere. 

• Effective persuaders will build an "allies" approach because it creates more rapport. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" 

• The more familiar you are with something or someone, the more you like it. This is why visibility in a company is important. Basically, you want to be seen frequently but only in a positive light. This is how persistent guys get the girl but remember persistence is only one part of the equation, the other part is that the girl needs to see you in a positive light during each encounter. (Also see my post titled An Insight into Attraction)  

• Humans usually associate the nature of news to the messenger (weatherman, "killing of the messenger") so good sales people associate themselves with positive things such as lunch and goodies (have you ever attended a pharmaceutical sales meeting?)

Best Defense

• Be very sensitive to a quick or deep liking to a sales person (reflect on the sales person's behavior)

• Separate the salesperson from the merits of what he is trying to sell

Seemingly Useless Commentary: As you are probably noticing, many of these influence principles are not difficult to use (and abuse). It is important to remember that these are tools and like a gun, they can be used for both good and evil (how cliché I know). It is up to you to decide how you want to use such information but one thing that can't be argued is that awareness already gives you a layer of defense against being influenced by these tactics.  

Next Principle of Influence: Authority

6 Laws of Persuasion (Part 3) - Social Proof

You've been there before. A crowd gathers and you can't help but walk over and before you know it the crowd is growing exponentially. In part 3 of this 6 part series on persuasion, we're going to look at one of the most powerful influences: Social Proof.

This is slightly related to "unconscious imitation" which I discuss in one of my earlier posts (Monkey See Monkey Do). Anyways, "no man is an island" and our need for social acceptance and belonging has been used against us probably too many time and in too many ways. 

But like most of these influences, awareness is the first step to take back control:

Basic Premise

• People determine what is correct by finding out and observing what OTHER PEOPLE think is correct (that's why laugh tracks were invented)
• Looking to others provides us with a shortcut for determining how to act ESPECIALLY when the "others" are viewed as being similar (Showing shy kids films of other shy kids actively interacting with other children can have a powerful effect; On a more morbid note, the fact that suicide rates go up on highly publicized suicides)
• This influence is also very powerful in unfamiliar or ambiguous situations (just think back to the last time you were in a foreign country or restaurant - this is why Yelp is so popular as well)

How People Take Advantage of Social Proof

• "Everyone is doing it...Everyone owns one..." - It was known as peer pressure in my adolescent days but whatever it is called the good ol' Bandwagon effect exists because everyone wants to belong
• Want to golf like Tiger Woods, Want to look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, Want to join our club? then (fill in the blank)- Who doesn't want to be cool or do what the "smart money is doing"?
• As you can see, anyone that recognizes the power of this influence can take advantage of it by providing an environment where people act a certain way or needs to act a certain way in order to be accepted

Best Defense

• Be firm in your own beliefs and instincts and be aware that others may be misinformed or may have a hidden reason for the action they are advocating
• Try to think back to when "similar" people were doing the opposite and recognize that you are free to make your own choices  
• When joining any group (club, company, culture), remember that they may be susceptible to group think
• Now that you are aware of this influence, recognize when social proof is being deliberately faked to achieve a certain purpose

Some Seemingly Useless Advice: For anyone in an emergency situation where a crowd is present, dispel the uncertainty of the crowd by pinpointing an individual and directly asking for help (i.e.  "Call an ambulance", "dial 911", etc) . If you leave it up to the crowd, then if most people are not doing anything (bystander effect), most likely others will follow suit and if you have ever heard of Kitty Genovese, Hugo Alredo Tale-Yax or Simone Back, you know the results can be very tragic.

Next Principle of Influence: Liking